Saturday, March 05, 2005

Cock!

Yes, many different shapes, sizes etc. But also, many degrees of sensitivity.

Ex2 couldn’t handle me using my hands when giving a blowjob, and I couldn’t suck to hard. On the other side, I once entertained a young chap (in this case, the ‘entertainment’ mainly circulating around his penis and my mouth) who actually wanted teeth. As in, teeth scraping along the shaft. Guy must have masturbated into steel wool when he was younger. Oy.

Boyfriend prefers a harder grip than Funzo Ex3. But get this: last night, I was giving him a blowjob. It was a little more handjob-heavy than usual, several reasons, most of all my tummy kinda hurt (he shouted me a huge meal at Ito. Yum yum). So during a handjob bit, my mind was wandering a little. I thought, ‘ooh, I know! I’ll try that trick on him, I haven’t done it before’. The trick to which I was referring is this little motion one does with one’s hand to the head of the penis. A bit like ‘the juicer’ but a lot softer, a lot slipperier, and with more kinda fluidity (It’s hard to describe. I’ll show you IRL. Plus I’m tired so I can’t be arsed trying at the mo).

Now, this trick needs to be done carefully, as it deals with the most sensitive bit of the penis, so try it once, softly, and gauge the reaction. Some guys I’ve done it with have liked it used sparingly, other guys, it’s been too sensitive. Just make sure there’s a LOT of saliva or lube used.

But I tried it, and he melted like Boyfriend-flavoured ice cream. I kept doing it, and he was all ‘Ohmifuckinggodimgoingtocome!’ And afterwards, his mind was well and truly blown. Score another to Desci, Queen of Pleasure. Heh, Boyfriend’s so good for my ego.

But Desci sucks at something! In the bad way! Massages. I was never into them in highschool when all my friends sat around at lunchtime in their school dresses showing each other their bras and giving each other massages. (Sweet dreams… you think I’m lying?) Boyfriend asked for one last night, as he was all stressed, etc, and I had no idea what I was doing. And it was a baaaad feeling. I forgot what it felt like to be that inept at something physical. Not good.

I asked him to show me how he liked it, and he started giving me one, and my GOD. I was all, ‘ok, stop now, lest you want me to forget about you, come, and fall asleep’. So good. Oh my god, so good. Why didn’t any of you tell me how good massages are? Cunts. So any pointers on technique, etc? Coz I refuse to be that bad at any aspect of pleasure. And yes, I reckon I really was ‘that’ bad. O well. I made up for it with the killer blowjob. Kinda took the edge off.

Desci was a fuckwit yesterday! She forgot to post her Guide to the Comedy Festival so it coincided with the release of the What’s On booklet! And now she’s wasted your time talking about cock! So she’ll post it tomorrow. Or Monday, if she really feels you need to know about what happened when she got stoned at the drive in tonight. Ah, things to come.

1 comment:

mnkymelbourne said...

you got 'stoned' at the drive-in? did you commit adultery? I thought arabs did stonings not greeks?