Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Messed Up Jokes, Housesitting Sex, Comedy Festival.

You know those things you do that you think are really funny but the other person thinks is MESSED up?

Boyfriend and I were a little drunk one night on the housesitting holiday. I cut my finger on… something. It was bleeding. It hurt a little; he ‘there-thered’ me appropriately. I thought I’d fuck with him. When his back was turned, I put some of the blood down my eye to my cheek, as if it was a tear.

‘Ow! Boyfriend, this cut is really hurting. And I can’t cry, because my eyes are… kind of… stinging?’

He turned around, saw my bloody tear, and, genuinely concerned and shocked started to say, ‘Desci! That’s because you… then, realising, clean it off. You filthy bitch.’ Me: ‘hurhurhurhurhurhur’ Him: Eye-rolling laugh.

I stand by it as a legitimate form of humour.

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One more thing: the comedy festival posts’ comments section has been updated with my time at Dylan Moran, Call Girls, Lawrence Leung and Arjy Barjy. Go see <------


Anonymous said...

Have we gotten to the point in our relationship where we only have sex once a day? I mean, it’s bound to happen, but it’d suck. - Jeezus, Desci. Only once a day?? (mock sarcasm) That's an achievement girly. You should be proud of that alone. Especially if you're both leading busy, occasionally stressful lives.

Yikes. I'm in complete awe of you now.
- eat my shorts

Anonymous said...

haha Desci! the blood tear thing was classic! it would have scared the sh!t outta me!
keep up the good work lol

Martie said...

I wanna know what you cut your finger on ;-)

Also, I was thinking of you when I went to see the Glasshouse on Monday night. Some excellent Irish comedian whose name escapes me practically took over the whole taping (amusing at that too). Meanwhile, Wil Anderson was sitting there having a sook with snide comments like "clearly I'm not in this show tonight, am I" and I thought HA! DESCI! VINDICATED!

Enny said...

Martie - that one was on tv tonight - there was the shaggy one on first, and then the blondie one on second - they both seemed pretty coo'. I imagine it'd be boring as to watch tho, sitting round watching them jus read off the telecue!


Tempest said...

Yup. Have to hand it to you. "Only have sex once a day"..... Lucky wench.

Thats all then.

Desci said...

I cunt my finger when I was putting away some washed wineglasses. I don't know how. Er... I should've lied and made up something interesting.

Also, remember we usually only see each other on weekends, and sometimes during the week (but we're usually out somewhere) so it's not like seven days a week every day, it's only when we see each other... yeah, ok, right you are; I'll shut up now.

Mel said...

You cunt your finger? Was it a little vagina dentata accident?

Desci said...

Mel - you always point out the typos that make me want to KILL myself.

Seriously guys, I *am* a fanfuckingtastic editor. I just... get really fucking lazy on this site. Promise.