Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Five things I hate today

Not work. It has some very good points. Keep a positive attitude; everybody needs to stick it out in a job like this before going on to better things. DEAL.

Flash websites (for companies, not games).

Why? Why exist? They are useless. Absolutely fucking useless and there is nothing good about them.

Chris Kennett and Declan Fay in Beat’s ‘Art of the City’ section.

At first I thought they were ‘funny enough, just not suited to the column’. A month or two reading their page has altered my opinion to: Unfunny wankers, desperately trying to get attention so someone will pick them up for their own commercial radio or TV show. And who the fuck puts their PICTURE in the banner for an art column? Ugly little creeps they are. They’re like those idiot virgins at the party, pissed on half a breezer, who proceed to act like dickwits (climb things, tell unfunny jokes, anything extroverted and annoying) to get the girls’ attention; consequently killing everyone’s buzz as people try and ignore them/stop them. I hate them and I wish they’d just fuck off and die so I could get information about the arts again, which is the actual fucking intention of the column. Gah, I wish Richard was still doing it, he was perfect. (Well, they've all been good but for these puscunts).


Because I fell down some wet ones at work. Right on my arse, and then buttslid down a few for good measure. My back hurts now. And I was going so well; I hadn’t made an arse of myself in public for ages. Fucking lovely.


We had this dinner at work on Friday, which was actually really quite nice. And it was cool of them to organise it (like a mini Christmas party), but the only alcohol was beer. It made me disproportionately angry. Everyone had a drink in my hand but me, so I felt alienated and frustrated that I couldn’t enjoy a Friday drink. Who the fuck caters for a party and only buys beer? NOT EVERYONE ON THE PLANET DRINKS FUCKING BEER. And don’t be all, ‘but beer’s great!’ yes, yes, you like it. I don’t care. Not everyone does, and to think thus is just fucking stupid. (INH: I wrote this before I saw your home alone comment. xo)

The Streets and related Chav Rap

Just fuck off.


DJ said...

I hate beer and the streets. Two things we have in common

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

To organise a nosh-up and only have beer is a tad rude, Dess.

I used to write for Beat long, long ago. No pay, but you got into see some cool gigs for free. As well as some completely crap ones.

Tempest said...

Last year I slipped on stairs (in the rain) and broke my elbow... fun

and then a couple of months later coming out of richmond station I slipped on stairs (in the rain) and broke my ribs.

I am vary wary in the rain now.

I feel your pain.

The Hack said...

To organise a nosh-up and only have beer is a tad rude, Dess.

Desci and RINH, now I'm a blogging free agent once again, let's get together and have a beer-and-other-poisons non-grogblogging event.

Flashman said...

Flash websites: Can I bookmark a page within your site and send it to a friend? No? YOU FAIL. (This goes double for the Tasmanian developer who insisted on building one of our websites in Flash at about the same time as YouTube was offering the same service, better, cheaper, in HTML.)

The Streets: I make up songs for bands that I don't like - songs which exemplify their musical style. For the Streets, it goes like this:

I woke up this morning and I went downstairs for breakfast, which I usually do, and looked for some milk but there was none. So I walked to the shops while dragging on a fag and saw this fit bird and she was all like "Allo guvnor" and I'm sayin' to myself "Oo's a pretty boy then" (etc, etc, ad nauseum)

I also have an Everclear song, it goes like this:

Everclear song, it's an Everclear song, an Everclear song, fucken Everclear song. Daddy didn't like me and then he went away, now I think about him every day.

(I'm unemployed. I have a lot of time on my hands. I tried to grow crystals today.)

richardwatts said...

I think that was a compliment. No, I'm sure it was. So yay for me, and thankee kindly. *curtsey*

Desci said...

DJ: Naaw.

RINH: Nono, don't get me wrong, I would ABSOLUTELY have beer, what I'm saying is that, while very popular, it's like having a veggie option: Not everyone wants beer, so have something else ALSO. Wine, for eg.

Tempest: Jesus! Fucking stairs.

Hack: CAN we please?

Flashy: Hee! Best. We used to do the streets thing too, to shit Jaxx. Hehehe.

MisterWatts: It was a YUUGE compliment; your AOTC columns were the bestest. xo

Sweatergirl said...

See, I would rather drink beer than the lukewarm $8 chardonnay usually on offer at office shindigs.

eat my shorts said...

I, however, am not fussy and will take whatever is on offer. In terms of alcohol, of course.

Rain is very bad for slipping over and hence I have decided to walk very slowly. People can damn well wait.

The Hack said...

Desci, let's make it so. Drop me an e-mail.