Monday, January 05, 2009

Christmas in the Northern Suburbs. Like, All of Them.

I miss Christmas. I miss my birthday. Eleven more months until they come around again. THAT IS SO EFFING HARSH.

Boyfriend and I had a nice break. Christmas was spent thusly:

Christmas Eve: we go over to sleep at my parent's house. We have some lovely snacks (dips, cheese, etc). Mum and I attack a few bottles of Chandon Cuvee Riche, I think it's called? The non vintage sweeter Moet, it's good good good. Dad has some extra-strong hash cakes and we don't feel like partaking, but he makes us taste a bit. I have literally a speck, like half a pea, just to taste. Strong tasting indeed. Boyfriend has a teeny bite and two hours later realises he's accidentally very stoned and stops running through beer.

We play Buzz then Singstar. Stop playing to eat lots of prawns, in a chilli, garlic and lime dressing dad's been making of late. Yum. I decide I CBF making my raspberry egg nog, we continue playing Singstar. Once dad realises that his trick of singing the lyrics two bars before the singer doesn't work, he gets good at it. Mum's not great. We go to bed around 1, I think?

I wake up around 6.30, 7, to excited to sleep. My brother walks in at 7.30, just arriving home from his Christmas eve tradition of going to the - urgh - Lower Plenty Hotel.

We open presents, I get spoiled rotten with toys, books, dvds and cds.

From Bundoora to my Uncle's house in Eltham. On the way, we joke about the 2006 saga (we alternate lunch hosting yearly), in which the '1.30 lunch' actually happened at 3. This year, they know we have quite a bit to do, so they say the lunch will start at 1ish. We get there 1.15.

We don't eat lunch til 4.

Mum and I go through more bottles of champagne. My uncle has us try some Jacob's Creek sparkling, which is very ungood. Like ash. Out of politeness we force ourselves to have it, mum makes me have most of it because I'm better at skulling. I get the guilts up because we've spent the whole day with my family, and we're yet to see Boyfriend's.

He and I leave before dessert, pick his brother up from the station and go to his parent's house in Hurstbridge. I'm drunker than I've ever been around them, so I keep quietish. While we wait for his dad to finish work, we pop over to his cousin's house in Diamond Creek, the one we're good friends with. He and his fantastic wife are hanging out with their new-ish twin babies. They give me cider, dashing my plans of sobering up while I'm there. We chat for a bit, it's uber fun, we go back to Hurstbridge.

Stay there for awhile, to hide my drunkenness and because she loves me I hang out with Boyfriend's 7-year-old niece for a bit. Then his older brother tells me about how they're pretty much going to fuck up her life by HOME SCHOOLING her, since Steiner school (snort) didn't work out. She's a showpony, like I was, and the last thing she needs is more exclusive time. She needs a therapist (to look at her myriad behavioral problems) and a normal school environment, not home schooling by her crazy mother. It's such a shame.

Anyway. From Hurstbridge to Whittlesea to my Mum's sister's Christmas party. More decorations than all the houses on the Boulevard and Myer windows combined. We stay for about half an hour.

Drive Boyfriend's twin back to Fawkner, go back to Bundoora to sleep. Get there around 11.30.

Boxing day go get Boyfriend new clothes from Reservoir Target, then to JB in Heidelberg to get Guitar Hero World Tour (review to come). Then to Montmorency for his Dad's side family dinner.

The rest of the break was spent housesitting and looking after the rottie. Also playing Guitar Hero, watching the new blu rays he was given (he borrowed an HD projector from his work, and set it up with a big screen in my parent's loungeroom. It was awesome).

New Years Eve was spent in the fashion we've been following for the last few years, at a friend's house. Fuck going out on amateur night.

Same group of people as usual (my favouritest friendship group) this time in Croydon, but it was still fantastic. Drinking, eating, laughing, playing Buzz (FINALLY finding someone to give me a run for my money). Playing Singstar on both our PS3 and their PS2. Slept the night there. It was fan-fucking-tastic.

Now back to normalcy. Zoiks.


Melba said...

So buzz is that primary school maths game where you're in a circle and you go around and if you're doing 5's, you say buzz instead of every multiple of 5, right?

Or is there a cooler version I don't know about?

Also, home schooling will fuck up a kid faster than anything society can throw at it.

RandomGit said...

Your Singstar prediliction pleases me. We did Singstar at the staff Christmas party this year.

I, admirably, rawked! I received complements on the Monday. I am the happy.

Even though my voice collapsed half way through and someone dared me to do 'We built this city on Rock and Roll'. It wasn't pretty. That is a hard song to do.

Apart from that, I didn't get drunk even once this holiday season. FUCKING SCANDAL!

Perseus said...

"...mum makes me have most of it because I'm better at skulling"

I laughed and laughed.


So this is probably a real bogan dumb question, but 'dumb bogan' is one of my many hats: Do you fancy your boyfriend's twin? You know, like, umm... Oh you know what I mean.

Nancy said...

It cracks me up when you talk about places like Eltham and Croydon, because we have the same named places in England and they are the armpits of South London.

Eltham is an especially nasty place, what with it possibily being more racist than Alabama in the fifties. There is a bus route that goes through it that the drivers keep boycotting because they keep getting attacked.

But let us not forget Croydon, which has coined the term 'Croydon facelift' for all the chavs with their hair scraped back so tight that their faces are stretched into an expressionless oblivion.

Good times.

Boogeyman said...

Bob has a twin? Did you get the good twin or the evil one?

Also, I gather Bob didn't do much drinking, since he seems to be chauffeuring you around heaps. Very gentlemanly of him.

Melanie said...

Home schooling - I know a born again christian with 5 kids under 9, this year she's pulled them all out of mainstream school so that she and JC can have more influence over their tiny vulnerable minds...

Most concerning, last year on facebook she congratulated someone else on being named "ducks" of their school .... for rools...

kids are screwed

Melba said...

Although the story about a two-month-old ingesting (possibly) an ecstasy tablet makes me want to revise my statement about home-schooling. Can I say "... faster than anything society can throw at it, unless you are in the custody of majorly stupido parents."

But that kind of still perpetuates my home schooling argument anyway.

Desci said...

Melba: I WISH! I'm fucking awesome at that, too. No, this is a game for the PS3, and it's like a gameshow, with buzzers. It's fun, but it could be better.

And you're SO RIGHT about home schooling.

RG: Our last song of the night is usually 'Total Eclipse of the Heart', because that fucks up your voice GOOD an' proper.

Perseus: That's a completely fair enough question! They're not identical, and actually, I didn't even know they were related until a few weeks after knowing them. Plus, their mannerisms are very different. I've always had a more brotherly vibe with his twin. He's great, but I've never felt even a little spark 'that way' for him. Perhaps if they were identical and shared mannerisms, I couldn't help it? But that's SO not the case.

Nancy" Chav's Facelift! I love it! Croydon's pretty bad, but Eltham's actually a lovely, middle class leafy suburb. Wrap your mind around THAT!

Boogey: When you first meet them, you think mine's the evil one, but as you get to know them you discover it's his brother who's the evil twin.

He only abstained on Christmas, New Year we slept the night over there, Boxing Day his brother drove, and we didn't drive anywhere else. So his BAC was generally around .1 the whole time, which is how he likes it.
Melanie: 'Ducks' Oh god! Well, this mum's probably similar to that, scarily enough. The only time I've met her Boyfriend's brother had the kid, and she was e-ing off her face.