Friday, January 09, 2009

Lies!

For a piece I'm doing.

What are some lies your mother told you? Were you little, or was it last week? How did it affect you?

It doesn't have to be long. It can be a sentence or an anecdote; I'd love to hear it!

15 comments:

Miche said...

That the man in the moon was the dude who spoke to the Easter bunny, father xmas and the tooth fairy, and told them all if I was a little bitch to my parents (which may have been quite often, admittedly)

Marshmallow said...

That eating bacon rind causes cancer.

I then burst into tears then when I saw an uncle tucking into a hearty breakfast of bacon and eggs, rind and all, telling him that I didn't want him to die!

Kartar said...

Actually my parents went out of their way to ensure I didn't get told any of those stupid lies.

Atheist, left-leaning parents will do that for you.

theparissite said...

My mum told me the man we "bumped into" one night was someone from work. He was actually a guy that she'd had an affair with years before, and they had begun seeing each other again after they'd both separated...

Oh, wait, did you mean light-hearted lies?

Oops.

Desci said...

Theparissite: No! The darker the better!

theparissite said...

So self-indulgent, woe-is-me details then...?

Anonymous said...

That there was a giant plug out in the middle of the ocean, and that it was important not to swim too far out, because if someone let out the plug I might get sucked down the plug hole.

Fenz said...

ha ha when i was little i didn't like onions, so my mum told me coca cola tasted like onions. I'm sure I was a teenager before I found out the truth! She also used to say that if you unscrewed your belly button your legs would fall off!!!

Anonymous said...

Mum told us that if you heard the ice cream truck coming along playing music, it meant Mr Whippy was out of ice cream! It was so embarrassing when I found out that wasn't true. I still cringe thinking about it!

Also, we had pet rabbits. One day I got home from school and they'd all been "sent to a farm to live". I don't think I need to tell you what was really in our stew that night at dinner. :(

~Nooneimportant

(Word verification: foxin. Yeah, no fuckin' kidding!)

Enny said...

I once remarked to my parents that you could tell people were always speeding, because if everyone was going at the right speed then we'd all be travelling side by side.

I can't believe they didn't bother to correct me.

Actually, most of my stories involve me telling them what I thought was the truth and they let me believe it or just laughed at me (see: ;how long can fish hold their breath for').

Nancy said...

The only lie my mum told me is boring and helpful... I was an anxious kid who could never sleep, and would be kept awake by worrying that I couldn't sleep. My mum told me that lying awake all night with your eyes shut is just as restful as getting a full nights sleep, so I stopped worrying, lay with my eyes shut and consequently fell asleep at a reasonable time every night.

By the time I worked it out, I had grown out of my sleep issues, and was really grateful she'd lied to me. Aww.

(Don't get me wrong, the woman was nothing less than psychotic on many other issues, but her handling of the sleep debacle was always much appreciated).

Melba said...

The only lie my mother told me, and I don't think she thought it was a lie, was that "everything would be alright."

Of course, it wasn't. But that's ok.

I think it's the only lie I've told my kid too.

RandomGit said...

My Mum didn't so much as lie to me, just give me broken wisdom.

"There are no prizes for suffering."

Actually, self sacrifice, when properly applied, nets great results.

"Always have soemthing to fall back on, then follow your dreams."

Umm, I'm so comfortable and obligated by the pursuit of my 'fallback' career I don't know when I'll chase my dream again.

Kerces said...

NOI: I got the mr whippy one too

also I didn't know there was any other tv station apart from ABC until well into primary school.

but the most memorable lie wasn't told to me but yo my brother. We all went for a bushwalk up Mt Pigeonhouse on the NSW south coast (i must have been about 9 or 10 and he's three years younger) and to stop him complaining about how far it was, my mum told my brother there was a mcdonalds at the top. this is in the middle of the bush and the last bit of the mountain you have to climb a ladder to get up on the rocks. everyone kept waiting for him to twig that it wouldn't be possible to have a restaurant up the top, but having maccas was such a big treat for us that my brother was really excited about it all. and sooo disappointed when he finally got up there. this terrible terrible thing my mother did still gets brought up form time to time by my brother.

Dr. Cam said...

Yo D, didn't happen to me, but you might find it useful:

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,24914160-661,00.html

Dark enough?