Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Possible Collarbone Surgery Outcomes:

I wake up with both male and female parts. WIN.

I wake up halfway through, unable to tell anyone. And the surgeon is singing Danii Minogue songs through the whole procedure, flicking his hair with the beat. LOSE.

I wake up with a pain, and it turns out it's because the surgeon left a bag of diamonds in my shoulder. I sue him for malpractice AND ALSO get to keep the diamonds. WIN.

'Broken collarbone' is misread as 'breast reduction'. LOSE.

My fucking collarbone finally fucking heals. WIN.

Radioactive spider from the radioactive ward bites me, superpowers ensue. FOREVER WIN.

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