Thursday, December 02, 2010

Drunken Times in Beijing Pt 1

Boyfriend drank every day, as he lifted his 'year without beer' ban (but decided to extend it 'til the wedding in June). Not to get plastered, but because he loves Chinese beer: it's dirt cheap and it's pretty much the only drink you can get at every restaurant (beside my beloved Almond Juice).

But there were a few nights of cocktails and fun.

I begged Boyfriend to go. I thought it would be fun.

It was… grim.

So we had to drink until we didn't feel so awkward.

Picture the cheesiness of Hard Rock Cafe, but with the big American food gone cold and wrong. Curly fries? Yum! COLD curly fries? Vom.

And overpriced, even for Australian standards. It was about four times more expensive than any other restaurant, even the fancy ones.

Though you know I'm a total rice queen, so the waitresses with the singlets and the short shorts with their arses hanging out was nice. And they were all A or B cups, so no scary massive fake boobies.

After about 4 drinks and a carousel of shots it became better.

Lots of tourists, and a few straight-looking women, too.

The girls did line dances every hour. They were… unenthused.

We stumbled out of there, had a walk and allowed ourselves to be ushered into another bar, one with a fully clothed woman dancing to 'Womaniser' on the stage. The other two acts:

- A Chinese Michael Jackson Impersonator who danced along to 'Smooth Criminal'
- Chinese Santana (with drummer and hot female vocalist just… hanging out on stage).

This guy started talking to us. He was with two friends, a couple I think, and he showed me his Chinese Military ID. He asked to get a photo with me. Then he got all cuddly and kept saying 'You. Are Ve-ry Beautiful' and 'I LOVE you!' and wouldn't stop touching me.

Boyfriend was laughing and drinking their beer, while I batted away the fruit this guy tried to feed me.

We made a hasty exit, after arguing with the bar staff for trying to rip us off.

Boyfriend has two lovely Chinese friends, this gorgeous couple. They took us to Karaoke with their mates.

I always vowed if I ever did Karaoke, it'd be with strangers. In another country.

Themed rooms, all with 'menus' of how much everything cost if you trashed it.

The boys drank beer. I drank spirits. The girls drank fruit juice. They sang pretty songs, and they all had amazing voices.

I didn't and don't. I think they were a little terrified of me.

Verdict: I prefer Singstar. You can have the singer drown you out, and there's WINNING. Karaoke is terrifying. Still, it was good fun.


RandomGit said...

You know if you sing every note flat on singstar you get a flawless note match? This is why I can't be allowed near singstar.

Desci said...

And that's how *I* win Singstar.