FB makes me hate people again.
You know what I was doing yesterday? I wanted to go to Pearl, since their day-specific special menu had me thinking improper thoughts (mmm, steak tartare) but had to cancel because on Friday I had three wisdom teeth yanked out.
I know, it never stops lately.
So I was at home. I felt like something pretty, so I jumped on Etsy and bought myself two bracelets and a necklace.
I looked at all the hysterical women on FB. Some favourite statuses:
'Loves it when clients give her valentines presents. Now I wonder what is in store when I get home........'
How foreboding!
is waiting for my lovely husband to come home, hope his arms aren't too sore carrying my flowers, balloons and chocolates ;)
Eyeroll.
You know what we did for Valentine's Day? We banged. And it was awesome. Boyfriend got home late, he had some dinner, shaved, and then we banged.
Which is a fuckload more use to me than chocolate in the shape of a Labrador. Or a tacky gold trinket from fucking Bevilles or one of those other low-rent jewellry stores you see in plazas. Or a balloon with 'I Wuv You' on it.
Surprise yourself with cool shit. You know what you like. Don't submit to the pressure of feeling miserable if you don't get allotted your share of tacky, hallmark-esque day-specific plastic.
And bang someone, FFS. Bang the ever-loving snot out of them.
...Ladies.
37 minutes ago
4 comments:
I just checked my facebook status from yesterday to make sure that wasnt me.. luckily all I had done was bitch about Dexter Fletchers hair at the BAFTA's, seriously Spike Thomson, what have you done! No point doing valentines day if youre a cunt the rest of the time
I usually get some personal item of a romantic nature rather than disposable platitudes.
Nothing says, "I don't think of you" like the dictated standard of roses, chocolate or a bought card without a message written in it.
Nothing says "I Want You" like a jolly good bang. The best thing is, you can have that Valentines EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR, twice on Saturday and Sunday.
I had no cash this year so I made a card out of Firefly Valentines images posted on Facebook, MS Word and a sheet of crappy office printer paper. My lover loved the shit out of it.
But she has an injured back so no bangage. :(
You should make a seasonal Valentines kiosk at the local mall called
"Valentines Shiz"
with the Headliner
"Give her the gift of Orgasm!"
And exclusively sell high end sex toys. In Black.
Mel: Baha! Yes.
RG: Yes, yes, exactly, exactly. Though sorry to hear about the lack of bangage. :(
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